About this Playlist
A Hoof origin story 😆
The Hoof was a horse who hated Christmas. He hated the cold, the snow, the lights, the presents, and most of all, the music. He hated the jolly tunes that played everywhere, the carols that people sang, and the bells that jingled. He thought they were all annoying and pointless.
He lived on a farm with other animals who loved Christmas. They decorated their stalls, exchanged gifts, and sang songs. They tried to include him in their festivities, but he always refused. He preferred to stay in his stall, alone and miserable.
One day, a few days before Christmas, a new animal arrived on the farm. He was a llama named Funky, and he had a big boombox on his back. He played music that Grumpy had never heard before. It was called funk, and it made everyone want to dance.
The Hoof was curious about the new music, but he didn’t want to admit it. He pretended to be annoyed by it, and told Funky to turn it off. But Funky didn’t listen. He said that funk was the best music ever, and that it could make anyone happy.
He challenged Grumpy to a dance-off, and said that if he could make him smile, he would win. Hoof agreed, thinking that he had nothing to lose. He was sure that he would never smile, let alone dance.
But as soon as Funky started playing his music, something changed, he felt a strange sensation in his hooves, a tingling in his ears, and a warmth in his chest. He couldn’t help but move to the rhythm, and soon he was dancing like never before. He felt a joy that he had never felt before, and he realized that he was smiling.
He looked at Funky, who was also smiling, and he felt a connection. He felt a gratitude for the llama who had shown him a new way of enjoying life. He felt a friendship that he had never felt before.
He realized that he had lost the dance-off, but he didn’t care. He had won something much more valuable. He had found his Christmas spirit. And he had found the funk.
- What Do The Lonely Do At Christmas – Mayer Hawthorne
- Merry Christmas to Me – Eli “Paperboy” Reed
- I Got Your Christmas Right Here – Aloe Blacc
- Christmas Will Really Be Christmas – Black Pumas
- Merry Christmas To You – Kelly Finnigan
- Highway Home For Christmas – The Teskey Brothers
- Santa’s Got A Bag Of Soul – Flyjack
- Holiday Breakdown ’09 – Binky Griptite
- Yuletide Throwdown – Cut Chemist Remix – Blondie
- Christmas Coming – The Soul Chance
- This Christmas – Night Owls
- Christmas Island – The Tamlins
- Sleigh Ride Dub – Mato
- Jingle Bells – Bombay Dub Orchestra Remix – Joe Williams
- Christmas Time Is Here – Khruangbin
- Wonderful Christmas Time – Kadhja Bonet
- Merry Christmas, I Love You – James Brown
- Brand New Christmas – Hot Chocolate
- Who Took The Merry Out Of Christmas – The Staple Singers
- Christmas Gift – Margie Joseph
- If Peace Was All We Had – Rotary Connection
- Stoned Soul Christmas – Binky Griptite
- Merry Christmas Baby – Ike & Tina Turner
- I’ll Be Your Santa Baby – Rufus Thomas
- Back Door Santa – Clarence Carter
- Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin’ – Albert King
- Xmas Done Got Funky – Jimmy Jules & Nuclear Soul System
Image by The Hoof and AI
Like this playlist? Click Suck My Dickens for A mildly amusing X-mas story, More Than Less Than Zero for a holiday playlist set in Southern California, click Asshole Santa and experience the spikey outer-shell of Christmas, or follow this link to Winter Days if you just want a snowy seasonal playlist.