The light air of spring is finally as warm as my morning tea, so naturally this feels like a good time to ponder the existence of self. Perhaps I can interest you in some spring cleaning of the mind, body and soul. For whatever it's worth, I think we are all destined to explore and question the boundaries of existentialism. The kind of stuff that makes you feel lost in what is unknown and overly consumed by what is. When I do find myself exploring the depths of my darkest thoughts, I am consistently drawn towards reflective music like that of Nat Lefkoff. His voice is a vessel capable of embracing your emotions, holding them, and releasing them into the wild to be experienced on their own journeys.
Derived from a conversation with himself, Nat created “Damn” - a song that grows like a fire. The slow simple melody warms the air and is soon joined by the delicately dancing flame that is Nat’s voice. His first words light the atmosphere with emotional contagion. “Damn you should really see yourself more often / But I can't / When the mirror is awful”. As the song builds it takes on the intensity of the fire at the peak of its existence. A voice that is powerful and all-consuming enough to awaken feelings that often go untouched. A voice that resembles sleepless nights spent questioning the worthiness of yourself. Just as the fire releases its last flickering embers, his voice leaves you with a diminishing intensity, stating, “I miss the way you hold me / I should learn to love myself that much”. We all drift on these feelings - almost always out of sight and out of mind - until voices like Nat’s remind us that you cannot heal what you choose not to see or feel. It’s like basking in moonlight expecting the warmth of the sun.
So I continue to ponder existence as I walk by the ocean alongside the setting sun. Nat’s raw and powerful voice accompanies me, competing with the sound of the crashing waves. I am reminded that a beautiful moment like this would inevitably feel less meaningful without music by people that are so often left hidden in the shadows. Nestled in the vast ocean of our overstimulated world lies so many artists drowning in the endless waves of musical overflow. It is my hope that I can keep voices like Nat’s from being swept away in the currents and allowed to flow freely through the world for those that need to hear it on their own journey of self discovery.
If you thought this song couldn’t get anymore powerful - well then you should watch it performed live here:
You can learn more about Nat Lefkoff here:
About The Curator - Maria Fish
You can most often find Maria in her garden humming along to an eclectic playlist titled “Life’s a Garden, Dig It” and of course tending to her beloved plants. This garden is located on the island of Kaua’i at her childhood home surrounded by tropical fruit trees and flowers. Beautiful music has always gone hand in hand with the beauty of the island. Just as she nurtures her plants, she looks forward to nurturing this playlist and the community of music lovers that feel like stopping by and having a listen.
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