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Music to Grieve To
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Grief is exhausting.

Aside from the mental aspect - it can take a huge physical toll on the body. And I’m not just talking about the lack of sleep or bad diet - I’m referring to the wracking pain in your chest after you’ve cried yourself out.

I don’t know about you but for me there’s always a point in the grief cycle where I break down - when I’ve been holding everything in and finally, out it comes in an unstoppable torrent. I’m typically alone when this happens - or maybe wrapped around a dog - it’s that cathartic full on crying jag - often ending up where you’re catching your breath in-between sobs and it can last for what seems like hours.

Last week’s track is a great example of a piece of music that can trigger that kind of release, but this week’s track is all about the moments after.

When you’re spent - when there’s nothing left in your body or soul to come out - you experience this moment of calm - it’s an amazing place and generally fleeting when you’re in the grief cycle - but there’s a stillness to it - a sense that you’ve survived something, that perhaps, everything might be OK - someday.

When I’m here I find I can look back - I can conjure up memories and not feel the pain that is now associated with them. I find that I can even smile - just a little - and allow myself to be thankful for the time together. I can look at those things that I loved and appreciate them for what they were, knowing that over time I will treasure them more and more.

This track seems purpose written for just this moment. From the simplicity of the structure, the beautiful vocal, the lyric that speaks volumes and - especially for me - the way the high hat comes in at 1:40 - it’s just stunning.

Here’s the lyric:

 
Til death
I’ll hold
These parts of you so close
We both
Have flaws
But I love the scars you chose to show
I’d like
To lay in
These orchids in your skin
It’s just you
And just me
And we’ll be what we’ll be
Something in the way you say my name, feels just like a dream
Something in the way you make me feel, makes me feel complete
Something in the way you say my name, feels just like a dream
It’s just you
And just me
And we’ll be what we’ll be
Til death
I’ll hold
These parts of you so very close
It’s just you
And just me
And we’ll be what we’ll be
— Til Death - Gaijin
 


You can learn more about Gaijin here:

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About the Curator - Andrew McCluskey

Andrew McCluskey musicto Playlist Curator

The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the Dark Forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top, they would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.

As a psychology graduate I studied how sound affects human performance.

As a musician I compose instrumental music that stimulates your brain but doesn't mess with your language centers, leaving you free to be creative and brilliant without distraction.

As a curator I research how music can improve your life and create flow - I can tell you what music to listen to when studying for a test and why listening to sad music can make you feel better.

As the founder of musicto I’m on a mission to inspire a global audience of music lovers and artists through the development of people powered playlists.

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