There’s this idea in life that just because you know a thing it makes it easier to deal with.
Like sitting down with a therapist, driving through your history until you find the behavior that causes you, many years later, to run away from connection or drink too much or insist on cleaning everything 3 times.
The “Idea” is that, once you remember that Uncle Billy was a sick fuck, you don’t have to continue reacting to it as an adult - that there’s a catharsis and now that you know - you pop out the other end, childhood shame and guilt all erased and your liver takes a vacation.
And sure - while I might be binge watching the Sopranos at the moment - there is plenty of evidence that this actually works - people do get better, do change - but in the same way that Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief have been terribly misunderstood, I suspect we’re exaggerating what “knowing” can do for you.
You see, knowing that the one you love is falling out of love with you - well - that’s not cathartic, that’s not helpful - that’s agony and that pain ain’t going anywhere - at least for a long ass time.
I adore this track - from The Staves’ recent Good Woman release, it’s so brilliantly written and relatable.
The melodic hook around “I know” - the anger of the bridge as the pain of what was and will never be again comes sharply into focus. But it’s the progression of the track, how it builds and builds until that final chorus arrives and the shaker kicks in and the harmonies envelop you as the simple truth that there’s nothing you can do to stop it leaves you, indeed, paralysed.
