One of my favorite lines from last year was:
“inspirational quotes - in quotes - make me want to throw up - preferably on the person who posted them.”
It was Autumn Dawn Leader’s track that resulted in that particular piece of invective and I’m so grateful to her for the inspiration :-)
We seem to live in a world where we’re just uncomfortable with grief - we don’t like to interact with others who are going through it and we’re embarrassed to show ourselves when it’s our turn. And I get that - it’s fine - but please - can we stop with the platitudes?!
I love this track from Marinus de Goederen because I suspect it reflects how most of us go through grief. While everyone is out there telling you that you’re going to be all right - that “all the clouds have silver linings,” that “men who fear get hit as well,” and that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” it sure doesn’t feel like that at the time.
When you’re grieving - the idea that “a little rain never hurt no one” doesn’t exactly help - when you’re processing loss everything hurts - when some sanctimonious fucker comes along uttering platitudes like this - it only makes it worse because you’re not living up to some idealized standard of society where you’re not allowed to feel sorry for yourself.
I call bullshit - I reckon at certain points of the process you should feel sorry for yourself - it’s a natural part of grieving where you’re demonstrating empathy for who you are and acknowledging the value of what you lost.
And while yes - this phase is transient (unless you’re unfortunate enough to descend into chronic grief and require counseling) and is best done on your own - to dismiss it out of hand with some social expectation to always display a sunny disposition - has more to do with the observer’s discomfort than it has to do with the needs of the person going through it.
So here’s my request for the end of this year and a suggestion for the next - if you or someone you know is going through the grieving process - have a long listen to this track and allow yourself to go with it - it’s alright to feel sorry for yourself every now and then and Marinus’ track is a great way to get you there. As for next year - let’s all make a resolution for 2020 - the next time we interact with a person going through the grieving process - repeat after me:
No More Fucking Platitudes!
Merry Christmas people!
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About the Curator - Andrew McCluskey
The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the Dark Forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top, they would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.
As a psychology graduate I studied how sound affects human performance.
As a musician I compose instrumental music that stimulates your brain but doesn't mess with your language centers, leaving you free to be creative and brilliant without distraction.
As a curator I research how music can improve your life and create flow - I can tell you what music to listen to when studying for a test and why listening to sad music can make you feel better.
As the founder of musicto I’m on a mission to inspire a global audience of music lovers and artists through the development of people powered playlists.
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Andrew McCluskey
The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the Dark Forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top, they would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.
As a psychology graduate I studied how sound affects human performance.
As a musician I compose instrumental music that stimulates your brain but doesn't mess with your language centers, leaving you free to be creative and brilliant without distraction.
As a curator I research how music can improve your life and create flow - I can tell you what music to listen to when studying for a test and why listening to sad music can make you feel better.
As a creator / contributor at musicto I’m part of a global creator community that collaborates through music. You can learn more about our community here.