Sometimes it’s terrifying to create - which is ridiculous really but - sometimes that’s just how it is. I know this is probably more relevant to people writing creatively for a living rather than people writing essays for a grade - but the underlying mechanisms aren’t too dissimilar.
Here’s the thing - if you don’t give a shit - creating is easy. If you’re not invested in the reception of your work then - aside from the point of why bother in the first place - there’s zero risk in producing it.
I remember half-assing assignments as a student - putting in minimum effort and scrambling at the last minute to hit the deadline. When the resultant C (or even D) came back I wasn’t surprised or even hurt - I didn’t really care one way or another. But there were also times where I was excited and motivated by the subject matter - where I did the reading and sat down and took the time to write something I was proud of - the resultant grade had a significant impact on how I felt and how likely I was to invest the same effort in the future.
When you’re creating something that’s bigger than yourself - when it’s a work that’s intended to reach a wider audience and to resonate deeply with them - that’s when it all becomes a little more challenging. And I don’t know if I can articulate the fear properly - it’s not that we all just want to be loved - or that we’re afraid of failing - there are a number of pop psych “reasons in a box” that people trot out to explain this phenomenon and I suspect they’re all true to some degree but they don’t fully describe the feeling.
I’ve been stuck for three weeks - barely able to keep my shit together and definitely not able to move forward - but - things are changing. I tell myself that - I tell others too - and while it hasn’t been strictly true - i hope it is - I hope it will be - and fucking soon - ’cos man - I have shit to do!
Here’s a beautifully melancholy piece - executed with just the right amount of feel to elicit the pathos and self reflection that’s required to nudge you forward - just a little. If my fingers can type this - then - maybe I can type the next thing too - and then maybe the one after that. If I keep my head down - don’t look at the mountain and focus on what’s in front of me - I might just get out of this yet.
You can learn more about Al Gilliom here:
About the Curator: Andrew McCluskey
The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the Dark Forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top, they would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.
I’ve been fascinated by music ever since.
As a psychology graduate I studied how sound affects human performance.
As a musician I compose instrumental music that stimulates your brain but doesn't mess with your language centers, leaving you free to be creative and brilliant without distraction.
As a curator I research how music can improve your life and create flow - I can tell you what music to listen to when studying for a test and why listening to sad music can make you feel better.
As the founder of musicto I’m on a mission to inspire a global audience of music lovers and artists through the development of people powered playlists.
Latest Posts
Lonely Dream – Drunken Kong Remix – The Archer, Drunken Kong
24 November 2021
But as I’ve moved from ideation to manifestation, the energy of the playlist needed to change – solo piano is good for thinking – but 8 minutes of 130 bpm edm is great for getting things down
Out Of Reach – Cristoph, Yotto, Sansa
8 November 2021
So if you’ve been listening to the playlist recently you know what’s coming. Last week’s track was all about setting the intent for change – away from the more relaxing ideation space of solo instrumentation to this week’s electronic track from Cristoph, Yotto and Sansa.
Mr. Clay – Johnny Klimek, Tom Tykwer
31 October 2021
I’ve known for a while that the feel of the list was going to change – while piano instrumentals are perfect for reflection and ideation – at some point you need some energetic input to get your fingers moving.
Andrew McCluskey
The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the Dark Forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top, they would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.
As a psychology graduate I studied how sound affects human performance.
As a musician I compose instrumental music that stimulates your brain but doesn't mess with your language centers, leaving you free to be creative and brilliant without distraction.
As a curator I research how music can improve your life and create flow - I can tell you what music to listen to when studying for a test and why listening to sad music can make you feel better.
As a creator / contributor at musicto I’m part of a global creator community that collaborates through music. You can learn more about our community here.