About this Playlist
Why I Think It’s Important to Communicate:
I love a good iceberg. I especially like the kind that go on for hours at a time with chapters that get progressively more obscure and niche. Sometimes you have to pause and wonder how is a Garfield iceberg suddenly talking about how a cat becomes an entity that transcends time and space through the consumption of lasagna – Garfield essentially becomes this grotesque parasite draining John and becoming his entire reality.
With this understanding, here the metaphor of icebergs becomes relevant when considering the many layers we have as complex humans. It’s natural that as we grow, develop and learn, our needs and wants change over time. The new experiences pile up on the old and shape how we respond to the next. Being aware of these continuous interactions within ourselves solves a portion of the issue with communication.
The next part is seeing how the person adjacent to you also has those same interactions going on within them. They’ve traversed a myriad of experiences which have shaped their life in such a way that they are where they are now. How they communicate, understand and respond is only from what they know and understand. How can they know about what they don’t know?
The discourse we have with each other provides the opportunity to learn and positively add to those experiences. We might uncover something new or help someone by providing that shift in perspective to the 500 piece puzzle they’ve been working on.
Whatever it may look like for you, there’s an undeniable amount of courage in expressing yourself fully and honestly – even at the risk of being misunderstood by others.
Your truth is yours to share – none could ever tell the tale like you.
My Top 5 Songs:
You Know What I Mean – Cults
There’s a jaded self awareness I like from this song. The one where you have become so tired of experiencing it and explaining it – it’s still tender to talk about it – so we don’t talk about it. I picture this as a part of the eclectic playlist for the avoidant attachment style. Deep down they know they want genuine human connection but ‘why are people finding it so hard?’ They’ll “come, then go away – that’s what they all do” At what point do you become the problem and seem to have lost it? All you can do is try to be happy.
Young Folks – Peter Bjorn and John
This song was a gem from when I still liked playing FIFA back in 2008. I had recently figured out how to get the house wifi working and had just connected my PS3 – the fat chunky edition – to the online services. “Playstation Home?” what’s that? Let me play online and meet some people who I’ll share golden memories with before the inevitable “Last Online: 19 Months Ago”. Maybe I should have joined them on Playstation Home. Now that I’ve grown up, this song is like the bittersweet realisation that not everyone will be staying around, maybe they’ll be there for a few short magical moments, but those moments will go on to become everything in shaping your interactions with people. They’re memories stay in your heart singing: “Everyone is leaving I’m still with you”
Issues/Hold On – Teyana Taylor
Another song fully aware of the trauma impacting it’s interpretations and decisions. Here I get the vibe they know the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where they are watering it. “I do love you but it’s – alright”. They know love shouldn’t be easy or hard. It’s mixture of ups and downs appearings as results of two individuals consistently putting in the work. When there’s been a rough patch one might “need the reassurance every now and then”. I like this song for it’s plead for someone to be patient, compassionate and understanding, simply put – “hold on, hold on, don’t let me go.”
Stay – Debbie
They say it’s possible to change environments but still be able to attract the same situations to you. I like this song especially for how haunting the “this time, things will be different” line is delivered. In the same chorus she ends it with “but it’s never gonna be that way”. This song for me highlights the destructive relationships that can form through familiarity. Perhaps, the needed change brings an overwhelming world of unknown that one can be paralysed and stay in the painful but familiar. By the third chorus we can hear just how each day staying around got progressively more painful.
Almost Is Never Enough – Ariana Grande ft. Nathan Sykes
“A day late and a dollar short”. I think this song has no trouble in having the listener think about what could’ve been. Some things might have been perfectly positioned but for one reason or another, they just didn’t happen. Imagine qualifying to be selected, and not being selected. What the heck is that? Maybe the universe is trolling… again. Regardless, I really treasure this song for helping me know I can exit situations knowing I gave my reasonable best – a best I call the bare maximum.
How Can We Communicate with Each Other Better?
Self-Awareness
When we communicate with others, it’s obvious we don’t always have access to what a person is really feeling, thinking or needing. There’s a veil between us as individuals – sometimes we can just about make out the shape of what’s going on, but we can only assume. But really, it’s none of our business; we don’t need to get the other person to do or be who we want by having access to their inner world.
Still, we have access to an endless supply of thoughts and emotions that come from us and are available on demand. As we investigate how we play a role in our interactions and how that may be perceived, we grow in our vocabulary to recognise and verbalise our thoughts and feelings, and come closer to communicating with someone about it. We grow in our self-awareness.
When we choose to look at ourselves with the lens of self-compassion and curiosity, we develop a patience for ourselves that understands our humanity. We get comfortable knowing that our best will look different each day, and some cycles take ages to break but each attempt brings us closer to ourselves and the person we want to be.
And in knowing ourselves, we can check for those around us. Are they happy for us, do our interests align and is this a person I can be emotionally vulnerable with? With these answers we then have the opportunity to communicate our needs, expectations and hold space for another’s perspective on us. We can then press forward with a potentially uncomfortable conversation with the same honesty, compassion and curiosity we award ourselves.
Track Listing
- You Know What I Mean – Cults
- Laughing on the Outside – Bernadette Carroll
- Young Folks – Peter Bjorn and John
- Gimme Love – Joji
- We Might Be Dead by Tomorrow – Soko
- The End Of The World – Julie London
- Fade Into You – Mazzy Star
- I’d Rather Go Blind – Beyoncé
- On Bended Knees – Barbara Lewis
- Bumper – Cults
- Have Some Mercy – Delroy Wilson
- Going Home – Berhana
- Don’t Walk Away…Just Trust Me – Tory Lanez
- GONE, GONE / THANK YOU – Tyler, The Creator
- Lightning & Thunder (feat. John Legend) – Jhené Aiko
- Issues/Hold On – Teyana Taylor
- Stay – Debbie
- Somebody Else’s Guy – Jocelyn Brown
- I Should’ve Known Better – Mica Paris
- Special Kind of Fool – Basic Black
- Sandstorm (feat. JID) – Mereba
- Almost Is Never Enough – Ariana Grande
Playlist image by Anne Hoang on Unsplash
