About this Playlist
Grieving Poet Andrea Gibson
If you didn’t already know the poet Andrea Gibson, chances are you have seen some sort of news of their passing this week. My social media pages have been flooded with writers, artists, queer folks and straight folks alike sharing tributes, love, and the impact that Andrea had on their lives.
If you don’t know, Andrea Gibson was one of the most prolific spoken word artists this century. They won poetry slams, sold out nationwide tours, and have written several award-winning books of poetry.
Andrea died on Monday this week, following a four year long battle with ovarian cancer.
They were nothing short of a beacon for queer people, trans people, people stuck in depression, people who were familiar with public panic attacks, people who refuse to stop trying to find balance between the strong and soft places of their souls, people who didn’t realize that poetry could sound like that, people who turn to writing to try to process this life.
Over the last 4 years, Andrea had reached even more people with their incredibly raw and transparent acceptance of their own diagnosis and impending mortality. They did not shy away from the difficult emotions or conversations that surround cancer, death, mortality, and joy despite it all. They took to social media, sharing poems and silly videos of them dancing or befriending a squirrel that lived in their backyard.
They were very vocal about the reaction they had when they received their diagnosis: for almost a year they experienced such an incredible and almost constant state of joy and bliss. As a life-long hypochondriac, their worst fear had just come true, and instead of it destroying them, they were catapulted into this container of bliss and unmeasurable love for their life. It was infectious, seeping through our devices, making us sob with grief and joy or both at 2am, making us think about our own lives, our own choices, with so much more softness, grace, and love.
One of the last things they said before they passed was “I fucking loved my life.”
On Monday, I read the words “Andrea Gibson died” over and over, feeling a shattering in my soul, an absolute refusal to accept it as truth. How can this person, who has been a beacon in my own life, as a writer, as a queer person, and as a human, be gone? The amount of grief I experienced for the death of this person that I have never met is astronomical. And through the tributes, the poems, and the conversations shared online this week, I know I am far from the only one having this experience.
When I don’t know what to do, I turn to music to help me process difficult emotions. Grief is an emotion that I rarely find myself processing without the help of music, strings in particular. Something about the way the violins soar, the way the cello can reverberate against heart strings that are devastated, pull them into a grieving symphony. For a few minutes, at the peak of the song, when the orchestra comes in full force and I think the violins can’t possibly soar any higher, the pain is transmuted. The emotions trapped in the song, the symphonies matching the grief, giving it wings to soar through music and release.
This playlist is filled with songs that I still feel them in—this language of music that is untethered by words like ‘living’ or ‘dead.’ Songs that can hold and express the pain of this loss, the beauty and devastation of a life lived to the fullest and a life lost. Songs that keep building and building and building before they break, crack open so you can too, release all the pain and anger and joy and grief.
I hope you find some relief here, friends.
“When nothing softens the grief, may the grief soften me”
-Andrea Gibson
P.S. Check out their last poem, shared a few months ago, titled “Love Letter from the Afterlife”, and watch out for the documentary about their life, their diagnosis, and their love that will be released on Apple TV this fall.
You might also enjoy this article: How listening to Sad music can make you feel better.
Track Listing
- Pathos – Ludovico Einaudi
- Etne – RØRE
- Death Is the Road to Awe (feat. Kronos Quartet) – Clint Mansell
- Ivory Coast – Judah Earl
- November – Max Richter
- Held – Kiasmos
- Weaving of the Spirit – Christian Bollmann
- Oneness Chant – Lauren Monroe
- White Flowers Take Their Bath – Meredi
- On the Nature of Daylight – Max Richter
- Éxta – Sebastian Plano
- Duvet – Niklas Paschburg
- Palemote – Slow Meadow
- Fractal – Thomas James White
- New Grass – Ólafur Arnalds
- Life – Alberto Giurioli
- Current – Phoria
- We Move Lightly – Dustin O’Halloran
- Experience – Ludovico Einaudi
Playlist image Fair Use.
This playlist is part of The Human Collective. Each week we take a prompt and create a playlist and accompanying articles. Learn more about The Human Collective here.
