I was feeling sad – and I know why, but damn it’s so hard at times.
I’ve sat and watched as circumstance came in and deconstructed my defences one by one – constant pain leading to lack of sleep to lack of writing to lack of self care to lack of confidence to lack of hope to – STOP!
I’m here again because I’m sad.
Which is kinda OK really – this being the music to grieve to playlist – but it’s more than the normal sadness – and while it’s not quite despair – it does feel overwhelming.
I could give you the exact point in time and particular reference – which you would all understand, if not necessarily appreciate – but that’s not the point of tracks like this…
I’ve loved this song for as long as I can remember – certainly long before I understood what it was about.
There’s so many ways to appreciate it – from the gorgeous melody to Nina Simone’s stunning delivery, to the whiteness of its writers and how Porgy and Bess continues to force us to look at systemic inequities in American life: race, gender, disability and poverty…
I’ve noticed a disturbing trend on the Grieve to list of late where – for one reason or another – the tracks are becoming a little more optimistic – a little more hopeful. And while yes – there are times when that’s appropriate – it’s the sadness of a track that we’re drawn to – the pure melancholy of a love remembered or a life cut short – or – as with this week’s track – both!..
I’ve been thinking a lot about Music to Grieve To and and about what kind of playlist I want it to be. The idea is solid – both for the audience – in that listening to sad music is good for you – and for artists because hell, if you can’t write a sad song – then – maybe this game isn’t for you!..
It’s taken me a while to write this – I don’t know why – maybe it’s because I’m looking at it from the outside in – knowing that I should feel grief for what’s happening – and yet – not quite connecting with it.
It’s not like I don’t have ties to Australia – my sister’s family live in Sydney – I’ve seen pictures of their favorite beach nothing but flames. Hell, I live in California where towns are getting wiped out every year and the idea of LA burning up doesn’t seem so strange…
Sad music doesn’t have to bring you down – sometimes a sad song punches you in the gut and leaves you staggering but strangely energized. When you have a lyricist like Craig Finn and a guitar player like Tad Kubler, you get pummeled on many different levels.
I’ve composed this one keeping in mind an idea of consolation after loss, just follow its flow and let it take care of you 🙂