What today’s insight has granted me is the knowledge that if you don’t check in on yourself, you’ll lose touch with yourself. You’ll become unfamiliar with each other, and it feels very strange. I honestly think this is what it means to feel out of sorts.
We don’t like feeling like we can just force ourselves to adopt values. For me to want to be compassionate, to want to manifest in a particular way, a way that is kind and free of judgement or bitterness, is not what feeds the ego.
We’re there for every day of our lives, but they all smudge into this one long trail of ideas and feelings and memories, and we just have this general sense of ‘being’ somewhere in the middle of it all.
I’ve been on mirtazapine for a couple of months now, and it’s been interesting.
You don’t always have to be happy. But you never have to be miserable.
You enter a paradox of creativity, of knowing that the thing is nowhere near ‘finished’, but not wanting to change anything about the thing because you’re so in love with the iteration
The feeling of drifting, of existing rather than living, as though life is merely happening to you and not with you, is probably one of the most unsettling experiences I’ve ever been through.
My battle with sleep is a tale as old as time. If I want to fall asleep, I’m chronically awake. If I want to wake up, I’m an immovable, eternal entity.
What makes a good artist? I think this is a much more helpful question than its more popular counterpart, ‘what makes good art?’