As I stared into the little compartment in the graveyard where my father's ashes are stored along with my grandparents' I heard this song's opening chord, resonating loudly inside my head.
This has always been a deeply emotional piece of music for me, I remember being moved to tears during the concert they had here in Colombia, there's something incredibly sad and nostalgic about it, that was one of the most emotional concerts I recall, right in the middle of my father's sacred passage from this plane to the other, his disease.
That sacredness feels captured by the church organ played in the very beginning of the song. It was the first anniversary of my father's passing, this 17th, and it was my dog's death anniversary this past 23rd. Every time I remember about last year, I wonder how the soul can endure that much pain.
Human beings are incredibly resilient creatures, it's amazing. I amaze myself at the amount of suffering human beings endure every day, the fact that many people have gone through grief and the death of the people they loved the most. It makes me feel a bit insane to think about that day, I can't completely reminisce about that pain, it's too difficult to understand, feeling a pain so immense it transcends your entire self and time.
It's amazing to think about it and thinking how that isn't the worst thing you have felt during your life, or how it feels like you have the sadness of a thousand griefs condensed in a bigger number of lifetimes, one so intense it can affect more than a thousand lives later.
And you learn to tell which souls are older than the others because that pain weights on you so much that your joys are never the same, so you admire and cherish the young souls who don't carry that sadness in their eyes, for the beauty of the pure joy they transmit reminds you of that pure joy you had inside of you so many lifetimes ago.
The cycle is sacred, dying and living, birth and passing. We serve a higher purpose and we are sacred as the stars we worship, for we are made of them, in our passing we let that stardust continue on its journey, transforming eternally without end.
"We're sacred". It's the only thought that comes to mind when I witness that much pain, when I see the souls that are currently suffering the indescribable pain of sickness. It just makes me want to honor our sacredness and the incredible sacrifice of death and rebirth, the admirable courage of suffering that much and still making the choice to return here, to give another part of your heart and soul to this dire world and to your brothers and sisters, your fellow souls, so brave to put their hearts on the line to serve the perpetual need for the divine to learn itself.
We're sacred, as the ones who passed away, and we should always love ourselves and love them, honor them in every thought and every feeling, in every intention.
Dad, I miss your presence so much, but I accept your current state and its sacredness, I'm trying to honor you as much as I can. I'm trying to honor my life, the living and the dead with every breath, every thought, every intention. I'm trying.
You can learn more about Arcade Fire here:
About the Curator - Henry Gonzalez
Musician from Colombia, constantly inspired and moved by music and trying to express it in the best way posible, trying to find common souls who get as transformed by music and sound as he does.
Music can be a spiritual experience, you just have to find the right one.