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Music to Grieve To
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This is another song from the other perspective. 

If last week’s Radiohead track was about mental illness and what it’s like to be in love with someone who has it – this week’s track is about relationships and what it’s like to be the one who leaves.

That’s the thing about love – you never know how it’s going to work – how it’s going to work when you get down to the nitty gritty.  Relationships are messy – the initial crush, the developing affection – the flirting and listening and share of direction.  How honest are you, how honest are they, is the magic still there the following day, the following week, month, year…

And what happens when it’s apparent you aren’t a good fit?  What happens when one person wants it more – when one person is convinced it’s you and yet – you know it isn’t them.  What do you do then – how do you extract yourself from something that isn’t going to work – and – how do you make it OK?

Like I said – relationships are messy.

The answer to the questions above – if you were wondering – is:  Send them this track.

If you’re not a dick, if you fell in love honestly and truthfully and yet found that you weren’t a fit – it’s likely that you still deeply care about the other person – that you do indeed love them, if not in the way that they’d like you to, and that you want them to be happy.  And the reality is – right now – they’re miserable – if you’ve been on the other side of it you know how they feel – they feel rejected, ugly, burned and resentful and of course, angry.

So – you let time do its thing.  Time – the wonderful amazing healer that only costs you your life – and at some point you let Chris Martin do the talking for you.

The lyric is as wonderfully vague as many genius songs are – talk of personal demons, being neglected, everybody being out to get you – you certainly know you’re in the right space – but while the meaning remains opaque – the chorus hook of “Everything’s Not Lost” combined with triumphant harmonies and guitar hooks and admonitions to sing out…, yeah – that’s something you’d want someone you love who is hurting, who was hurt by you, to know.

And then of course there’s the hidden track. 

I wrote a letter once, told her I was sorry, that perhaps she could have a glass of wine, lie down on the floor with speakers either side of her head, put on this track and listen to it loud.  And then, as the song fades out at around 5:25, wait 13 or 14 more seconds for what I wanted to say.  Chris Martin says it better:

Now I never meant to do you wrong
That’s what I came here to say.

But if I was wrong, then I’m sorry
But don’t let it stand in our way.

‘Cause my head just aches when I think of
The things that I shouldn’t have done.

But life is for living, we all know
And I don’t wanna live it alone.

Sing, ah ah ah
Sing, ah, ah, ah
And just sing ah, ah, ah
— Coldplay - "Life Is For Living"

She remains one of my favorite people.  Beautiful, brilliant and bright with an amazing love filled family that I can only look at with awe. 

Go back and listen to the track again ;-)

You can learn more about Coldplay here:

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About the Curator - Andrew McCluskey

The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the dark forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top. They would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.

After my dad died I was very sad - I couldn't play for a while and when I did, the music that came out reflected my grieving state.  I wrote an album of solo piano music called Music to Grieve to - from which the idea of the Music to community originated.  

If you'd like to know more you should read Nicole's fabulous article on why listening to sad music can make you feel better.