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Music to Grieve To
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I do this because I believe music can make the shit times better.  

Henry is a Music to Curator - he curates the Music to Stay Up Late At Night playlist - it's a beautifully put together list - the music is often familiar and yet when you hear something new - it's always great.  But for me - my favorite thing about his list, is the writing.  He writes with such an authentic voice that you can't help but feel as if you're sitting there, next to him.

He recently lost his dad and dog in the space of a week - and...well - this was his entry for the week:

It was a couple hours after midnight, last Saturday. My father passed away in a hospital after two years of struggle with a very difficult disease. It was one of the worst moments of my life, completely unexpected for me and so difficult to handle that for a few moments I thought I would faint, I still haven’t fully understood the magnitude of the event, I still haven’t completely accepted I lost my father.

I wrote him a letter to say goodbye during the cremation ceremony, it had this song as its soundtrack, I managed to play it while someone read it for me before we gave his body the last goodbye, my voice would just not function among all the tears and I really thought the text was more important than me reading it aloud.

I was just starting to grief when this last Wednesday I got called by my sister to tell me that my dog had had some sort of convulsion and wasn’t responding, he was found various tumors and hospitalized, the veterinary told us he would have a couple of months to live.

On Friday his health suddenly began to worsen and on the afternoon he stopped breathing and died, he had been on my life for sixteen years, we grew up together, he was one of my closest relatives, a part of the family, for more than half my life.

This Saturday I went to a Gorillaz’s concert, for which I had purchased the ticket several months ago, I cried when this song started to sound on the speakers, the rain poured as it blended with my tears and I felt my father was observing me from the sky, I could only cry, try again to cleanse my soul of all this sadness, let the grief continue and continue crying every time I feel like it until I no longer have the urge to do so when I remember both of them.

This song and text are meant as a small homage to both of them, it’s difficult to describe everything I feel. I just want to honor their memory for a moment.

May they rest in peace.
— Henry Gonzalez


You can learn more about Gorillaz here:

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About the Curator - Andrew McCluskey

The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the dark forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top. They would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.

After my dad died I was very sad - I couldn't play for a while and when I did, the music that came out reflected my grieving state.  I wrote an album of solo piano music called Music to Grieve to - from which the idea of the Music to community originated.  

If you'd like to know more you should read Nicole's fabulous article on why listening to sad music can make you feel better.

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