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If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

–      Henry Ford

And yet that’s what most of us do. It’s actually rather crazy. We just keep going. I for one seem to have a master’s degree in that. It doesn’t matter if what I’m doing or who I am with isn’t good for me, I’ll see it through to the bitter end. I call it quits, all torn and broken, only after all other alternatives have been exhausted. Each time this happens, I always promise myself it’s the last time but obviously, this has happened about a thousand times…well, after today, a thousand and one times.

Our track of the week, “Can’t Kick The Habit” by Spin Doctors, describes what being stuck in a bad relationship feels like. It’s a hopeless and lonely fate. To make matters worse, it’s also a fate nobody can really rescue you from. You have to do it yourself.

The lyrics express well the frustration that comes from being stonewalled, when your friend, relative or spouse withdraws from a conversation or discussion and refuses to address your concerns. It’s a destructive strategy commonly used by narcissistic people to invalidate their victims’ feelings. As you can tell by reading through the lyrics of “Can’t Kick The Habit,” being ignored can leave a person feeling quire injured.

Can't kick that habit
I guess you know what conversation

But here I go
I can't stand it
Facing this alone

Don't change the subject
If it's not clear, don't say you're sorry
Then disappear
'Cause that means nothing
Nothing if your not here

Musically this track is one of the group’s finest. The acoustic guitar sounds fantastic throughout: warm, graceful and skillfully underplayed to the point of being very effective. As usually is the case with Spin Doctors, the electric guitar licks are simply put: amazing. I love the chords, the lead vocal and the harmonies that are sprinkled carefully throughout. However, what I love most of all about this track is its overall feel. It’s one of those songs that stays in the same mood from the beginning to the very end. It grows and a lot happens along the way but it leaves you with exactly the same desperation as it grabbed you with.

My grandmother used to say that every second spent in emotional agony is a second wasted. She was right. And even thought I’m hardly the right guy to be dishing out advice to anyone whose heart is broken, I’ll leave you with something I saw on Instagram a few days ago. I wish I had lived by it more. Here you go:

There is not one person walking this earth that is worth you laying awake at night feeling like you’re not good enough.


Track Sponsor Of The Month: You Are The One by The Impersonators

It was there from the start
When you took my hand
Something no-one could fake
No-one could have planned 

You are the one
Your heart is shining down on me
You are my sun
Be mine
Be mine eternally 


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About the curator - Tommi Tikka

Tommi Tikka - Music to Curator

Tom Tikka is a linguist, poet, professional songwriter, recording artist and a music aficionado. He started playing guitar when he was four and writing songs when he was six. Consequently, he doesn't remember a time when he wasn't playing or writing. It's fair to say, music and lyrics are not just something he loves to engage himself in; to him, they are a way of life.

 

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