Portal — A Guide to Interdimensional Travel by Frisco Dias

About this playlist

If the prospect of interdimensional travel feels daunting to you, that’s because it ought to. I know what you're thinking — 'yeah yeah, I've flown economy from Brisbane to LA, I think I can handle a little teleportation.'

Well, for a start you're not teleporting anywhere. Crossing the Fold is far from instantaneous (it can even last for eternity, if you're unlucky enough to get caught in a perpetual loop), so don't be thinking it's a 'blink-and-you're-there' kind of affair. It's not. Believe me — I had some real trouble coming over here to tell you all this, and I'm pretty well-travelled when it comes to getting about intradimensionally (which is very, very different from interdimensional travel)

Alright, I'm not trying to scare you off. I just don't want you to go hopping realities with the kind of naivety I did. You think jet lag is bad, try cosmic desynchrony. I'd take all my worst hangovers and times them by a hundred over this any night. Although, they reckon it's worse coming this way (something do with metaphysical polarity, please don't ask me about it, do I look like a physicist?) so maybe it won't be so bad for you! It's coming back you need to worry about. That is, if you make it back...

Anyway, if you're still interested in making the crossing, there's some other things to be wary of. Economy portals, for one. Oh yeah, not all portals were created equal — some'll rip your head clean off your shoulders, and that's if they're feeling kind. But even if you get a stable one (insofar as any of us can call ourselves stable), that's not say you're home and dry. Some portals spit you right out into the jaws of a nethershark, or a fleet of marauders, or just out into open cosmos. Can make for an unpleasant evening and/or existence.

What I'm saying is, you need a portal you can rely on. One that brings to safely across the Fold and into a friendly and well-catered environment. One that's not going to fleece you the minute you land for all your pocket money (like the bloody NANTARIS).

I happen to know just the place. But we'll get to that.

First, we have the matter of your in-crossing entertainment to consider. Like I said, this ain't no teleportation buddy, and as terrify… amazing as the sights can be in the interstitial gap between realities, the novelty will wear off sooner or later. In that event, you'll need something to occupy yourself with, and you can't rightly be watching a film or reading a book whilst walking interdimensionally now can you… why are you looking at me like that? Of course you're walking, you think they can fit a cab through those tiny seams in the metaphysical plausibility?! Behave!

No, you need entertainment of the audible variety, and with the help of some very kind bald fella from your own reality, I think we've the perfect soundtrack.

Initially the plan was to introduce you to all the wondrous sounds of the Meridian System, but there'll be quite enough of that once you're beyond the Fold. For now, let's stick to music from your own dimension, so you'll at least have something to hold onto in the event you do suffer a total existential detachment and forgot everything you ever knew and was (it only happens like, 3% of the time).

I of course had to throw in a couple of numbers from my good friends Harlow and Bayard of the Sound Lodge, a little taster of the culture our dimension has to offer, but apart from that, it's 100% your side. And there's some truly brilliant cats amongst you! I have to say, I'm impressed by what your 'Earth' has to offer in terms of sonic delights.

If this were a menu, I'd be hard pushed to pick the specials, but I wasn't crowned culinary king of Khasgar for nothing, so let's have ourselves a go.

This Bon-Psy fellow, now that's someone who knows to paint a soundscape. Reminds me of the month I spent in the cloud forests on Dhalia, trying to track down a rare kaliperlow (turns out, they don't exist and it was just a not very funny joke). This is a gent with a talent! And then there's CloZee, with this Neon Jungle of hers. Takes me right back to Kerala, and the terrors I witnessed at the Painted Ruin. Such fond memories.

Robot Koch. Now why do I know that name...? Could it be Koh? Surely they can't be the same person (yes I meant to say person, robots are people too). No, now I think about it, Koh actually became a strategist for the Sophian Cosmonauts, so quite how he would have gravitated to composing cinematic scores in a different dimension is anyone’s guess. Then again, Shako did used to be a mortgage broker, so I guess anything’s possible...

Right, enough waffle! You've got ears, you can listen for yourself! Let's get a move on!

Oh! Before we go, let me explain a little bit about where we'll be when we emerge on the other side. The FBS VIVAELLIPSIS is one of the finest vessels in the Broader Reaches, and I don't say that lightly. Those cats have helped me out of a number of scrapes over the cycles, and I certainly owe them far more than I pay in board and lodgings — only occasionally though! I'm a bohemian by trade, always on the move. Still, it's nice to have a place to call home. You can think of the VIVAELLIPSIS as a space station, though of course there's no space for anything in the Meridian System — you can't move for nonsense.

Now, if you're ready, let's make the crossing. Don't worry, I'll be with you the whole time.

And when we land, if you see that bloody Gremlin, tell him I've nipped to Karabine II for a spa weekend.

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before you go

Allow Cornelius to pontificate on what becoming a patron of the worlds famous Spirelight Hotel can do for your reputation our side of the Fold. If you're just looking for somewhere to have a quiet drink, you might be better off at Lawley's or the Undersun Tavern in the Service District, though we suspect these establishments are probably quiet for a reason...

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Promotional material:

🎥 — One Shot Media Co., Decharon

⦿𝑁𝐸 𝑆𝐻𝑂𝑇 𝑀𝐸𝐷𝐼𝐴 — 'because it'll probably be fine in post.'

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about the author — frisco dias

Frisco Dias is a professional itinerant, wandering the cosmos in service of his duty to sample all the rich banquet of delights & despairs the Meridian System has to offer. He is famously circumspect insofar as his past is concerned, though certain clues point to a dark history that belies his upbeat demeanour. Frisco’s bohemian lifestyle precludes any notion of a fixed abode, though he has said on more than one occasion (and on public record) that he considers the Portal to be the closest thing he has to a home