I’m Not Whole.
Ain’t that the truth - particularly for people listening to this list. Grief just takes a chunk out of you and it’s fifty / fifty whether it gets replaced - and even if it is - it’s with something completely different.
But life goes on - or it does for those of us who don’t succumb - and what do we do when we’re not right - when we’re not whole? Sometimes it’s enough to know that there are others out there who feel just like you do - where tracks like this can create the connection and you realize you’re not alone - and yet - other times it doesn’t help - the song becomes a stark reminder of where you are and how fucked everything is.
Even though I’m Scottish - the words can be a bit difficult to decipher so I asked the band for the lyric sheet - it’s brilliant! ;-) ‘cos on reading - I don’t really have a clue what the song’s about! I’ll paste them below but here’s the thing - songs don’t have to make sense in order to “do their job” - the most popular tracks often have the most opaque lyric as in doing so they can resonate with a wider audience - it’s the difference between watching a movie and reading a book - with a book you get to create the environment - if a lyric’s opaque - you get to decide its meaning.
For me - this track - with its brilliant guitar work and soaring melody and vocal harmonies - reminds me that I’m human - that shit’s going to happen - that I’m not always going to get what I want - but that - even though I’m not “right” - I’m going to be OK, and that’s why it makes the list.
You can learn more about Dear Tenement here:
About the Curator - Andrew McCluskey
The first visual memory I have is that of the white upright piano in Singapore, Hell and the dark forces lived at the bottom, Heaven and the Angels at the top. They would play battles through my fingers and I was hooked.
After my dad died I was very sad - I couldn't play for a while and when I did, the music that came out reflected my grieving state. I wrote an album of solo piano music called Music to Grieve to - from which the idea of the Music to community originated.
If you'd like to know more you should read Nicole's fabulous article on why listening to sad music can make you feel better.
25 September 2021
Why write a song reflecting on the suicide of a beloved friend? Why send it out into the world? What purpose does that serve? Ever since Gerhardt reached out and sent me this beautiful track, I’ve been reflecting on those questions – and while I don’t have an answer, I have an idea of one…
13 April 2021
I was feeling sad – and I know why, but damn it’s so hard at times.
I’ve sat and watched as circumstance came in and deconstructed my defences one by one – constant pain leading to lack of sleep to lack of writing to lack of self care to lack of confidence to lack of hope to – STOP!
31 March 2021
There’s this idea in life that just because you know a thing it makes it easier to deal with.
Like sitting down with a therapist, driving through your history until you find the behavior that causes you, many years later, to run away from connection or drink too much or insist on cleaning everything 3 times.