Why write a song reflecting on the suicide of a beloved friend? Why send it out into the world? What purpose does that serve?
Ever since Gerhardt reached out and sent me this beautiful track, I’ve been reflecting on those questions – and while I don’t have an answer, I have an idea of one…
I was feeling sad – and I know why, but damn it’s so hard at times.
I’ve sat and watched as circumstance came in and deconstructed my defences one by one – constant pain leading to lack of sleep to lack of writing to lack of self care to lack of confidence to lack of hope to – STOP!
There’s this idea in life that just because you know a thing it makes it easier to deal with.
Like sitting down with a therapist, driving through your history until you find the behavior that causes you, many years later, to run away from connection or drink too much or insist on cleaning everything 3 times.