I’ve been on mirtazapine for a couple of months now, and it’s been interesting.
I’d asked my GP for something to help me sleep, because I was having real trouble switching off at night with a generalised, free-form feeling anxiety keeping me awake. Basically, my brain was trying to get all it’s admin done when it was time to be clocking off, and I needed some kind of chaperone to come in and say ‘oi, time to go home son, it’s after hours.’
I have to say, it’s been working really well. Pretty much most nights I fall asleep within about 20 minutes of putting the work in, and that’s saying something when it used to take me probably about 2 hours to get me noggin down.
The first night I took it, it truly put me out for the count. I mean, it REALLY did the business. I spent the next day feeling completely sapped of energy because my body just wasn’t used to this amount of easy-access, uninterrupted sleep, and I was honestly a bit worried at first that this was going to be the side effect of the drug.
Thankfully my body calibrated and I’ve felt pretty much normal since. If anything, I’m finding I’m a lot more energized: my mental acuity is sharper, I can focus on tasks for longer, and I don’t find my attention going for a stroll on me nearly quite as much. I tend to struggle with this a lot, and there are still times when I can’t settle into a task, but on the whole I’m staying on track much more often than I was before.
I don’t feel like I’m worrying as much. It’s kind of hard to say given all the psychodynamic work I’m doing on myself at the same time, but as a combination of approaches I can say, at least for me, it works really well.
The big downside is that I’m finding it VERY hard to wake up. This seems to have a psychological edge to it, in that the days where I have to physically be somewhere by a given time, I’m managing to wake up and get there. It’s the days where work occurs at home that I struggle to convince my brain that we do still need to get up and get the day started, and I do think this is something to do with the profound impact the mirtazapine has had on my quality (and quantity, apparently) of sleep I’m getting. There can be too much of a good thing, y’know? I think 8 hours is plenty; my brain is pretty settled on the idea that it’s more like 12.
My solution is I’ve bought a good ol fashioned alarm clock which I plan to situate on the far end of my room. Good luck snoozing THAT one, brain.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Have a bloody lovely night’s sleep tonight.
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About the curator - Matt Jenko
Hi my name is Matt, but my friends call me Matt. I’m on the wrong side of 29 (damn I hate it every time I have to update that number), definitely feeling my age, but never felt happier and more content than I do at this point in my life. I’ve been through some rocky patches (who hasn’t) and lived to tell the tale, and boy do I gots some stories.
When I’m not giving opinions absolutely nobody asked for, I’m doing a worldbuilding with my passion project, vivaellipsis. If you like offbeat nonsense delivered through immersive escapism, then go and get involved. Or don’t, I’m not telling you what to do. I’m not yer boss.
I’m a simple man with simple interests. I like Yorkshire tea, the sound of rain on the window, and a bloody good story.
9 August 2021
What today’s insight has granted me is the knowledge that if you don’t check in on yourself, you’ll lose touch with yourself. You’ll become unfamiliar with each other, and it feels very strange. I honestly think this is what it means to feel out of sorts.
27 May 2021
The cinematic score to your psychological journey with Matt Jenko. Featuring artists like: Bonobo • Yotto • Emancipator • CamelPhat • ODESZA • Carpenter Brut • Tinlicker • Four Tet • Jacques Greene • Tchami • RÜFÜS DU SOL