Who do you listen to?
Who’s voice sounds like the voice of reason; what does it rhyme with?
You can learn a lot about yourself through paying attention to what you pay attention to. What do you discount? What do you ignore? Take a closer look at the things that pass through your thoughts unhindered, and those that get to stay. Are the things you’re keeping hold of the kinds of things you really wanting knocking around in the cerebral storeroom?
It might feel like you only hang on to the things you believe to be true. Those things might not necessarily be pleasant, you tell yourself, but then again, life isn’t pleasant. It’s a cruel world, so you need to hold onto cruel things to stay grounded.
The thing is, there’s lots of things that are simultaneously true. Truth is rarely objective; the facts of a matter might be, but the appraisal varies wildly with perspective.
I used to think I wasn’t especially good-looking, and I used to compare myself to others (quite harshly I might add). I didn’t believe the people who told me they thought (bolded, because that’s crucial) I was, and assumed that any rejection came from the fact that most didn’t. It came down to the fact that I was only really interested in my own opinion on the matter, and I couldn’t be convinced otherwise.
But it dawned on me that, really that’s not my problem. If you think about it, I’m not the one who has to find me attractive. It’s the person I’m with. Does it matter how I view my own attractiveness, as long as for her, it’s there? I’m probably the only person who doesn’t need to worry about it, because it’s not for me. It’s for someone else.
And there will be plenty for whom it’s not there. That’s okay. It’s not for them either.
Unhealthy fixation on the things we can’t control is a path to a life of torment. Who are you listening to? Are you listening to the ones who are telling you it’s there, or are you making assumptions about those for whom you’re convinced it isn’t?
If you think that the ones who are on board don’t count, there’s work you need to do that comes before any of this. A belief that opinions hold different weights is a failure to understand the nature of an opinion. An opinion is a preference, and is never right or wrong. It’s different from listening to advice; advice most certainly carries weight dependent on the bearer. But if ten different people give you ten different opinions on a given subject, are any of them right? Are any of them wrong? If the subject is ‘what is the best sandwich’, are you really gonna tell Fred that he’s wrong to say it’s a cucumber salad on brown? Sure, it might sound bleak, but if that’s Fred’s jam (incidentally, I reckon jam would actually be a pretty good call), are any of us in any position to tell him he’s wrong? Give the man a break.
Who do you listen to? Do you really like what they have to say? If you don’t, just stop listening.
It’s as simple as that.
Have a bloody lovely day.
If you find my work valuable, or you just really like my taste in music, then you can pay what you feel to support me on this journey. That's really all there is to it! Your support means I can focus more energy in this space, and continue the psychodynamic odyssey. All support is appreciated equally & emphatically
About the curator - Matt Jenko
Hi my name is Matt, but my friends call me Matt. I’m on the wrong side of 29 (damn I hate it every time I have to update that number), definitely feeling my age, but never felt happier and more content than I do at this point in my life. I’ve been through some rocky patches (who hasn’t) and lived to tell the tale, and boy do I gots some stories.
When I’m not giving opinions absolutely nobody asked for, I’m doing a worldbuilding with my passion project, vivaellipsis. If you like offbeat nonsense delivered through immersive escapism, then go and get involved. Or don’t, I’m not telling you what to do. I’m not yer boss.
I’m a simple man with simple interests. I like Yorkshire tea, the sound of rain on the window, and a bloody good story.
9 August 2021
What today’s insight has granted me is the knowledge that if you don’t check in on yourself, you’ll lose touch with yourself. You’ll become unfamiliar with each other, and it feels very strange. I honestly think this is what it means to feel out of sorts.
27 May 2021
The cinematic score to your psychological journey with Matt Jenko. Featuring artists like: Bonobo • Yotto • Emancipator • CamelPhat • ODESZA • Carpenter Brut • Tinlicker • Four Tet • Jacques Greene • Tchami • RÜFÜS DU SOL